Singing The Praises Of Simple Green

Always dilute Simple Green!

In a world where every cleaning product is scrambling to greenwash itself, I think it's important to highlight Simple Green.  Simple Green was there first, and it still does it better. 

Not for me are the charms of the upscale, overpriced, boutique eco-friendly cleaners like Biokleen and Mrs. Meyer's.  Nor the chemical polluters of the world who champ their cigars and chortle and slap a green leaf logo on a bottle and call it "The Clorox Green Works Line."

As far as I can tell, the only changes Simple Green has made over the years is to add a holographic dazzle to their label.  And this is just as it should be.

"But I can't stand the smell!"  I have heard this objection over and over through the years.  In fact, it was originally my objection, too.

Here's the thing: if you hate the smell, it's probably because you aren't diluting it properly.  Or at all, even.  

In particular, the spray bottle will fool you, if you're not paying attention.  You buy it, take it home, and want to grab it and use it like Windex.  But it isn't: in fact, the first word on the label is "CONCENTRATED."  

According to the label, for general use you should dilute it 1:10 (1 part Simple Green to 10 parts water).  From a practical standpoint, I find that it works best in about a 1:4 ratio.  But I tend to use it for heavy-duty stuff like cleaning the stove top, in addition to regular "wipe down the counters" kind of work.

At this concentration, the fluid is a nice apple green color (pictured above), and the smell is a mildly pleasant whiff of anise.

Now consider this: a spray bottle of Simple Green costs about the same as a spray bottle of 409.  But because it's a concentrate, you're actually buying at least four times as much!  Simple Green is hands down the best bargain on the cleaning aisle.

Speaking of reading the label, in poring over my bottle to write this article I learned that the spray bottle has a "foam spray nozzle."  Sure enough, if you pull on the little white bit at the tip of the nozzle, it pops out and gives you a nice foam that you can use (e.g.) for removing cat vomit from the carpet.

What can you clean with Simple Green?  Anything that can be cleaned!  The list of applications is seemingly endless, [PDF] and includes "any washable surface."  My single bottle of Simple Green has replaced bottles of Windex, Shout laundry stain remover, 409 for greasy places like the stove top and the kitchen counter backsplash, Mop 'N Glo for the floors, Comet spray for the shower stall and the toilet, and Resolve spray for the above-mentioned cat vomit.

My big cleaning tip for Simple Green is to let it sit for a few minutes to do its work on the tough stuff.  Oh, and if you buy the spray bottle, totally use that foam spray nozzle!  I just tested it out, and it's pretty cool!

Simple Green is not only way cheaper than all of those things, it works just as well, and it doesn't risk my health or the health of my pets.  If my cats want to walk across the floor while it's still damp, I don't have to fret.